and then it hits me...i am still stuck

today i realized that certain things come to your life, leave an impression and leave you rooted to it for rest of your life. At least the life in which one can still think and feel. today i "googled" the past just to come across the fact that the past could very well be at end of the street. end of the better street of my life. Not for the past, the drudgery i drag my ass back to at end of the day. Not for the past, the responsibility, but for the past the new shining window of opportunities and success.

It filled me with love pride hatred envy anger desolation and depression, all at the same time. And that is when i realized I am stuck with these feelings and the rest of my life is to be able to get over them, tough i must say or get myself over my past in my own eyes....tough too

someone said life is not fair....i agree.....
someone said life is a game of win and lose...i disagree
someone disagreed with the above that life is win-win for some and lose-lose for rest....I agree

but someone also said the meek shall inherit the earth...and i hope to be successful in my new war, either the war within or the war without. I think, the war within is a more invirogating in a bigger spectrum involving the life, post-life nirvana etc....and the war without will be the materialistic matrix-trapped momentary and perhaps phyrric in regards to the bigger spectrum war....

i chose the war without.....

tis a black day for me....

Comments

Moonstruck Girl said…
Can I opt out of warring? :) Within or without? I seem to have had enough :D

Love,
Me
8/03/2008 10:12 AM
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