ARVIews on Life or whatever it is

what a last coupla days.... yesterday, i finally summoned guts to give away tintin and shadow...so there goes my dreams of griztindow. i was so sad at the parting and felt like the worst mf in the world...but i think its for the best. tehy will have a great life ahead with some nice family. grizzly, tho quiet slept with me in the bedroom. he was so calm and sober...maybe too sad...but he had fun at the beach with me and C. C is so cool..i reall y like her... as a friend....with Ps(??? :-) ) new life for Griz and me.....i am prepping for the last week @Vonage and move to AuDc...or the company if it starts....lesee... mofos..i need money maan..... C is in some lil soup.... then i have to pay for J's book....eh....money comes money really goes............................ -a

just decided to post some corny poems i wrote when i was/am in a downtime....just bear it... bad moment fir me.......

you are not just my love, you are my core essence. you are not just a friend, you are my angel. you are not just a beauty, you are what inspires God to create. yours is not just a smile, yours is what makes God give a rainbow. yours are not just eyes, yours are what opens this world to the most joyous things. yours is not just a personality, yours is the epitome of love and respect and honor. you are not just a woman, you are goddess of the grandest order. i am not just a man i am yours for ever, to love you and to be proud to be with you. My love,life and every little essence is yours and only yours.

pebbles in sand, alive and jump with joy.... drops in the ocean, glisten and flow with pride.... the specs in the air, float and scream with delight for amidst them, lay the angel whose beauty lay beyond compare. leaves in the trees, bristled and wagged in ecstasy..... blades in the grass, arose and shone fantastically.... the dirt in the land, bowed and made way for amidst them, lay the angel whose smile brought the sun to shame. stars in the sky, embarrased and moved aside.... clouds hovering over, ran away and painted the sky azure.... tide in the sky, abated and painted a picture serene for amidst them, lay the angel who the moon gets her radiance from. heart of mine, skips and runs amok..... eyes of mine, flutters and glistens in pride.... life of mine, rises and realises its worth for i am , in love with the angel who has no par.

some envy you some hate you some are scared of you.... some wish they were like you some know they can never be like you some just hate you..... know that it is cos you are one of a kind layman cannot take such a fine woman like you .... be confident in yourself, know ur strength and greatness.... know that, nobody can diminish you... just like my love for you can never be diminished.... keep you head up girl....u are above all this... such low ppl are just but dust on ur feet.... u are destined for the skies.... and my love will be there for u whereeveru go.... keep smiling pretty woman........

worry not...if i tell u so.... what i see from the heart of mine...... know so or not, accept it or not.... you are always in the heart of mine. worry not...if i tell u so..... what i know from the mind of mine...... know so or not.... accept it or not..... you will be always in the mind of mine. worry not...if i tell you so..... what i know from the blood of mine.... know so or not.... accept it or not.. my annoyances, you will miss if i am not around....... worry not....if i tell you so..... what i know of you.... know so or not... accept it or not...... u are always my love.................. worry so....if i tell you so if ever,with a sigh know so or not... accept it or not.... not have my love for you, only if i die.

o beads of flower, as you float through the air, guide me to the heart of the woman i seek the most and i love the most. with eyes that have not slept, i earnestly recognize that, the woman i love the most is the sunrise of my day. the face that i see, is that of yours and that is my paradise. the words i hear, are those u say and that is my anthem. all i have to ask is God, to give me the chance to show, the woman i love the most, how i love her the most. o bead of flower, that float thru the air, please tell my love, that i am her true love and will always wait for her.

o, my love, the one with such hair of such flow, why u seek elsewhere, ur lover is me right here, always thinking of you. o,my love, the one with such smile beatific, why u look anywhere, i will always love you, in health and in sick. o my love, the one with such eyes dazzling, why u hear to strangers, your true love is I and I will be with you though life and its dangers. o my love, the one with the most wondrous love. u may seek elsewhere, u may look anywhere, u may listen to strangers, but i will always remain your one true love in this life and seven more.

why does the flower, in its fullest bloom.... at times do they bow their heads? why the full moon, in its fullest radiance.... at times does it seek to hide behind the cloud? why does the cloud, in its darkest magnificence.... at times do they seek to dissipate away? why does the sun, in its brilliance harshest.... at times do they seek to hide behind the mountains? why does the ocean, in its flow strongest..... at times does it seek to lay low meekly? the answer my girl is not blowing in the wind, but it is you. your beauty, beyond compare, your love, beyond measure... your charm, beyond brilliance puts all other God's creation to shame. why does then, i always seek to brave where others seek to flee ? The answer, my girl is not blowing in the wind, but it is my love which is always be there for you whenever and wherever and however.

if anytime i think, my life's craziness has subsided, I get jolted into reality that God's play is but divided into acts and scenes. exeunt scene N, enter scene N + 1 with more and different twists.... just hold on to the seat arvi, the ride sure is something different.... anyway, did the piss test...was glad the cup filleth with my watery joy.....sorry cudnt resist .... .....enroute, spoke to appa and found out amma had some lump....i was a bit concerned but appa said twas nothing major....anyway, enroute , i had to pee again and had to rush in to villa somna (near Vonage) , found the men's room was occupied, rushed into hte ladies room and .... satisfied i felt like Captain Kirk going where no man had gone b4..... ....got the car..went to a pizzeria and the beach....twas nice and sweet and fun.... back home, spoke to appa and amma and found out amm has lymphoma...that scares me ...rather depresses me....she says twill be ok...i sure hope so... God shows the path to one an...

saturday was a misgiving ....it started off pretty normally i wud say..went to see Holmdel MCl team play the beekman CC... as usual, and as well put by suresh, we just made it interesting enough to win a close game..sheesh...i need to play soon.....surgery on 5th and then the eventual rehab should hopefully make my next season a good one..... then onto nyc....enroute, i was thinking wtf am i doing ...but the answer was well i am enjoying and htats all that matters...and it was a wonderful time i had with C.O @some random park in village (willage) and mercedito (sic??) and luca lounge...luca was nice...helped mself to coupla guiness.......met this chick who was a dead ringer for keira knightley....anyway the nyc was a great time as usual....was a trifle sad, when i passed gonzalez y gonzalez...but hey ..life goes on ...time to move on.... and i was driving back...at 230 am, get a call from mrs outlaw saying cops are at home cos the dogs were barking...had to talk with the cops regardin...

weird day today. I had submitted my resignation to Vonage....Wonage as i am supposedly pronouncing it according to ponygal7... I feel sad. the whoohoo days are over but i have to be loyal to my career. well i hope to pass the drug test and then i move to audiocodes / ai-logix. and hten of course there is the startup and hopefully that materializes. saw the lil miss sunshine..twas funnily weird. and then the later part of the nite just kinda made me feel depressed. i am not sure hwat is going on in my mind but i think i am hitting some blues. ....aaah the accursed mind of mine... well, as far as X goes, not a hint of message...guess she really hates me now....silly gal...her loss this time definitely. i dont care anymore.... big things are in store for me. i am excited and nervous. God please help me. submitting resignation was a bit fun, as it made me realise ppl did value me around....a bit sad as i am now without a job...i mean need hte drug test pass grade....and a new endeavor. som...

i have deleted the previous blogs cos i had not realised how ridiculously anger filled it was. anyway, i need to move on...and the first step is to get rid of the old blog. will i be posting more??? hmm dont know.....will see..... btw FMI, the blogger beta is the site not the blogger .....crap!